• both hands
• dooce
• where are we going?
• a little pregnant
• this fish needs a bicycle
• okay seriously
• suburban bliss
• here be hippogriffs
• finslippy
• rainy day
• backwards motion
• ultratart
• name that mama
• not winning mother of the year
• one good thing
• the wednesday chef
• well fed

6.30.2008

Selfish

We've had a rough time lately. There's been a lot of money leaving us and I've had to adjust my hopes and expectations for the next couple years. We're doing fine, now, but I really just want an opportunity to be selfish.

I booked our honeymoons last week. We're going to save up so nothing goes on the credit cards. The flights were booked using frequent flyer miles and we'll get hotels as we can afford to reserve them. We're going to Argentina for 9 days, then going to the Dominican Republic for 6 days a week later. I can't wait.

We're basically not putting money aside for San Diego for now. We're putting a lot of money toward the car payment (paying off the six year car loan in two years) and my student loans (paying them off in three years, which will be eleven years early). Then we'll be able to afford a higher monthly mortgage payment when we move.

I haven't talked to J about kids in a while. We got hit pretty hard and I just need some time for me/us. I'm not saying I never want kids but I want to push back our time frame a bit. I have no idea what I mean by "a bit" but I think I'll know when I'm ready to quit being so selfish.

Posted by Violet :: 7:01 PM :: 3 Comments:

Post a Comment

--------------------------------------- Wedding Planning

Our wedding plans are nearly complete. We're soooo close. We have one more sheet to print before the invitations are complete (and we'll print the envelopes closer to September), but the printer has stopped cooperating. Yikes.

I'd hoped to pull off the wedding for $25,000-$30,000. We're at $30,000 and should squeak through for $31,000 with tips. J's family is paying for Ugandan dancers (and I'm thrilled) and I'm so grateful because we really couldn't afford them on our budget.

It's really nice to be just about done. I'm trying to have everything out of our hands that day. I'd like to buy the liquor online and have it delivered to the site, just like the flowers, etc. I don't want J or his family to be running around stressed and crazy either the day of, or the week before. I just want them to relax and enjoy the weekend and celebrate with us. Last night, though, I talked to J's brother. He wanted some assignments. I thanked him but told him that everything was really taken care of. He said that when you don't give people work, they create work for themselves so he'll find something for himself to do. Ugh!! They mean well, but I'd be so happy for them to have a relaxing, happy time - as much as is possible when you're getting married, I mean.

Posted by Violet :: 6:56 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

--------------------------------------- He's not American

Whenever I reference something Jude doesn't understand, he reminds me that he's not American. A couple weeks ago, I was telling him about some kids playing ding dong ditch and he stopped me for an explanation. Later, he brought it up again, asking about 'knock knock bitch'.

How can I help but love this man?

Posted by Violet :: 6:55 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

--------------------------------------- Wisconsin Flooding

Being a member of a CSA (HomeGrown Wisconsin, to be specific), the Wisconsin floods have affected me directly. If I'd seen the floods on TV, I would've felt bad for the residents and watched in awe of mother nature.

Having paid for a summer's worth of produce - 20 weeks of veggies, eggs and cheese - I watched the floods with a bit more interest. So far, our veggies have still come through but the coordinator is obviously stressed that she can't deliver what she'd hoped. The lettuce and other greens are much muddier than I've ever seen, although they still clean up beautifully. Instead of several quarts of strawberries, we got about 20 berries a couple weeks ago. The u-pick event had to be rescheduled and we got 5 lbs of strawberries rather than 10 lbs.

This weekend, I drove up to the Jen Ehr Farm outside Sun Prairie, Wisconsin and picked sweet, lovely strawberries. They aren't as big as last year but they taste wonderful and I got enough to bake five pies and still have a shoe box full to eat raw.

My thoughts are with the farmers as they struggle to get seeds in the ground and salvage the season. They are stressed as all get out and it would be terrible to see them go under.

Posted by Violet :: 6:48 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------

6.15.2008

Consumption

It's gotten so I don't have time to blog during the week. I feel like I have so many balls in the air right now and still summer is passing me by.

Yesterday we bought a new car - a first for both J and me. I had wanted a Prius but there's no sense buying at the height of the market. J liked the Subaru Impreza Outback Sport, in part because it has all wheel drive. We would use the AWD here in the Chicago winters more than in the San Diego winters so it made sense to buy that car now rather than waiting till we moved. Also, it was about ten grand less expensive. We paid $700 under invoice so we're pretty proud of ourselves.

We also bought a big ass air conditioner that should cool our entire first floor. None of the windows on the first floor can accomodate a window unit a/c so we got a free standing piece that will vent through a hose that we can stick out a window. That comes in on Wednesday hopefully so we're pretty excited about that.

I also bought a nice work blouse for my job interview tomorrow. I'm interviewing for my boss' job so I thought it was worth splurging for a new top. My big splurge cost $6.51 at Marshall's but it looks nice and none of the buttons are falling off. When I tried on my new top with a nice skirt today, J did a double take and begged me to dress that way for work everyday. Maybe if I get the job...

Wedding planning continues. We signed a contract for the cake this week. We also got our flights out to Phoenix for the big day. We've been using Farecast.com to predict whether flight prices are going to go up or down. After we buy the flights, we've been using Yapta.com to see if the prices go up or down, and get a refund if the prices drop. So far, none of the prices have dropped (yay, Farecast!) so I don't know whether Yapta will really be able to get us a refund in the event the prices dip.

In other news, I've been checking a new website every morning. It's called Everyblock and it compiles all the information related to a particular block, neighborhood, precinct or ward here in Chicago. It tells me about crimes, real estate listings, street closures, news, restaurant reviews and inspections, building permits, etc. Very good stuff. Lately, I've noticed a lot of burglaries by forcible entry (which are distinct from burglaries by unlawful entry).

This morning (while J was awake and I was still asleep), a man came to our front door screaming for Umberto and ringing our bell like he had OCD. J opened the interior front door and told the man there was no Umberto here. The man opened the exterior front door and started to come into the house. J yelled at him to get out but the man was dead set on seeing Umberto, whom he insisted lived on the second floor and was bald. J pushed the man out of the house and locked the door. The man stood outside the house and screamed up at the second floor, UMBERTO!

Not exactly burglary by forcible entry, but odd nonetheless...

Posted by Violet :: 12:36 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------

6.04.2008

Finally updating

First let me say that I haven't been negligent in my blogging simply because I have nothing to say. Rather, most of what has been going on hasn't been proper material for this blog. And without further ado...:

Prius Shopping is Hard

My Sweet Pride and Joy is just over 16 years old. My mom bought her new in '92. I have never bought a car in my life and now I'm out there trying to buy the world's most popular car. Never once did it occur to me that this would be different from going to the car buying store and just picking up the car that I want.

Oh, no. Ooooooh, nooooo. It's different. There are waiting lists. There are long ass waiting lists! There are waiting lists that are over a year long, waiting lists closed because they've simply gotten too long.

And once you're on a waiting list, you don't know what you're going to get or when you're going to get it. We wriggled our way into an empty slot on a waiting list and "our car" should be coming in at the end of this week or early next week. But the price? Oh, they can't discuss that till the car comes in. I'm not sure whether it's because we don't know what options the car will include, or whether it's some sales technique?

Despite being on this short waiting list, we are still shopping around. The whole point of buying a Prius is to save money (on gas, but I wouldn't also mind saving money on the car) and to save the world (she says, oh so humbly). We looked at used cars and got the Costco members-only price. Still. Let me tell you what happened at Northbrook Toyota:

We drove up because they said they'd gotten a couple used '08s with low mileage. We test drove one with 12,000 miles and zero options. It's used, it has no options - we thought we'd get a decent price, right? WRONG! They wanted EIGHT THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS over the sticker price for a new car! Holy mother of all that is holy. The manager tried to talk me down from the ledge, explaining that he had to pay a premium to buy this car from another dealer that had used this car as its lender car and that's why it was so expense. I sat there simmering, trying so hard to bite my tongue but let's be honest. I rarely bite my tongue. I told him he'd been foolish to pay that much for a used car with no options and we weren't about to be as stupid as he was. And then we made our exit.

So car shopping: stressful.

Wedding Planning

Wedding planning continues to be a bit stressful. Now that J's brother's wedding is over, his family has turned their attention to our wedding and while their input would have been welcome several months earlier, we are past the point where we can make further changes to our plans. Which is hard to say.

Home Front

We have painted three bedrooms upstairs and now we've got just a hallway left. Only a little hallway and then we're done painting for the year! Yay!

We have to put padding under the carpet in the basement. J thinks it'll be hard. I don't think so. Regardless, we haven't had a single moment to work on it yet but I'm hoping maybe today I can get started on that project.

Our gardens are planted and the sod has taken root. The plants (corn and sunflowers) are popping up in the backyard but the front yard is still dormant. It's frustrating.

And speaking of frustrating. I can't even begin to explain how hard it is to keep the neighborhood kids off the grass when it was brand new. I was sit out on the front steps and they would climb under the rope barrier we put up and play hide and seek around the tree, completely ignoring my screaming. And their parents were right there with them and they didn't care at all! What is wrong with these people?

Credit Card Theft

The police and Citibank have been surprisingly active in their investigation of my credit card theft. The police got the still photos of the guy using the card at the ATM and I was allowed to come down to the station to look at the photos. I didn't recognize the guy, which may or may not be a good thing. How awkward and horrible if I had recognized a friend in the photos!

....for some reason I can't underline anymore...

Honeymoon Planning

We're working on our honeymoon now. The plan is to start in Buenos Aires, then go up to Iguazu Falls. We can do touristy stuff there. Then we'll fly up to Costa Rica and do some adventurous stuff. And finally, we'll lay like broccoli on the beaches of the Dominican Republic.

I'm scared to call the airlines.

Extricating Myself from Soul Sucking "Friendships"

I've been working on this issue. I did not have brunch with the woman from work a couple weeks ago but at the same time we planned brunch, we also made plans to have lunch yesterday. She had asked me to send her an Outlook invitation and sonofabitch, Outlook sent her a reminder so she showed up and we had lunch. I had planned on simply not showing up, but fine, we had lunch and I did my best to keep her on happy topics but she is just one of these Debbie Downer types.

Later that afternoon, another woman at work, a very sweet woman with some serious health problems (apparently both mental and physical) called me over. This woman has also had a hard life and I do feel bad about that, but I don't have the time or training to listen to her reminisce about past problems for an hour in the hallway of our office. I was so thankful when another woman came to 'rescue' me but seriously people: I'm a fucking attorney and I'm 32 years old. Shouldn't I be a strong enough, confident enough person to extricate myself from these conversations, and these relationships? I frustrate myself.


This post has gone on long enough...

Posted by Violet :: 10:30 AM :: 1 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------

5.19.2008

I sense trend in my life. I seem to attract "friends" who suck everything I have and really bring nothing to the table.

For instance. There's a woman at work who is ostracized by others. I know this is true to a great extent, but I also think she brings imagines a bit of it. I think if she opened herself up to kindness, she would make friends with a few more people in the office but she's had a really hard life and I can't entirely blame her for keeping her defenses razor sharp. Anyway, I know a friend of mine checks in on her and while my friend was on maternity leave, I took it upon myself to be kind to this woman. She's a good woman. But she dedicates her entire life, everything she has, to caring for others and she needs an outlet. Everyday, she takes in pain from everyone else and she has nowhere to put that pain.

Most people have several friends, several outlets to release some of the stress and ugliness. This woman (let's call her Molly) doesn't really have an outlet so as she senses that I'm willing to listen, she pours out more and more. Her stories have a familiar ring: her life is hard, she's unhappy, etc. Sometimes she tells me the same story more than once in a single conversation. For some reason, I just don't have an interest in sharing my stories with her, but the few times I've ventured out some personal info, she's turned the conversation right back to her.

My relationship with Molly isn't the first I've had of this kind. I probably bring it on myself, trying to comfort people. Unfortunately, I lose interest when I see that it isn't a two way street and I have no idea how to extricate myself.

Now, Molly has started to invite me to do things outside of work. I think she tries to couch it in a request for help so that either I feel bad saying no, or she appears compelled to ask me rather than risking looking like a fool asking me to hang out for no good reason.

I'm going to hang out with her a bit this weekend. I had big plans. I still have big plans. I'm going to do my best to keep it short; I've told her that I have ambitious plans for while J's out of town. I'm a little upset that my plans are being interrupted and I'm not all that excited to hang out. However, I'm holding out hope that this will be more fun than I think it will.

If this doesn't pan out, I need to pull back. I'm going to suggest a therapist or some other outlet for her. I can't continue to spend an hour every couple days talking to her at work and I'm too selfish to give up my personal time if I'm not going to get anything out of it.

I've got to figure out a good way to set some boundaries in this relationship and avoid similar relationships in the future. And come hell or high water, I'm going to salvage my weekend.

Posted by Violet :: 7:04 PM :: 0 Comments:

Post a Comment

---------------------------------------